I didn't have a really happy childhood, and due to many reasons too lengthy to tell, I was always the "odd" kid. I was judged harshly by adults, looked down on frequently, abused and was very shy back then.

Now I am much better, living an almost normal life. But my poor self image from the past keeps following me all the time. I always have a feeling people are seeing me in a negative light, or they dislike me, or they think I'm naive and exploitable (this is what I feel). As a result I am extremely insecure and self conscious about the way I act in public, even at home with my parents.

I'm always afraid people will walk over me once again. I have built a muscular body, a cold look and an infinite list of things I do to help me overcome my insecurity. None of them actually help.

Sometimes taking a walk on the street is extremely uncomfortable. I can sense people noticing this too and that makes them uncomfortable too. I'm nearly 20 and this problem has greatly interfered with my life.