even though it's been over 20 yrs now since I smoked a cigarette, I still collect
negative images and put one up now and then for my subconscious to absorb ...

I thoroughly enjoyed the entire smoking experience. I didn't have the nauseous period that I remember,
but I didn't smoke as a child. I started in college and went to two-packs-a-day the first month.

I used to say that I'd smacked again if I knew I had only month's to live, but I don't think so any longer.

I confess, though ... I remember it fondly. ...
which is why I send negative signals to my subconscious.

If I ever start again, I'm afraid I won't be able to stop. You are having such a hard time, and I
understand the difficulty. Our doctor wouldn't let me care for my dad at home unless I quit.

Quitting to help him was easier than quitting to help myself.

But there is a way for you to do this, LostAngel. Keep coming back, keep posting, build/use
a support group--do whatever it takes for as long as it takes.

Roadie