(((bean)))

You are a bit overwhelmed right now because you don't have a clear cut plan. As you say, you are making a "change" and ending a relationship. None of us like change, it brings a sense of insecurity and that we have to think more than ususal because we are stepping outside a routine pattern.

The anger outbursts you are discribing is something I experience myself. I find that it is often because I have some anger about my feelings of being "pushed" into something I do not like to experience. The humming you are discribing is due to your experiencing "change" and as I mentioned, you are no longer in a routine that you were familiar with. And you don't feel "safe' right now, no one feels "safe" when they are changing and embarking on a new direction.

Hey, a lot of people stay in an abusive or bad relationships because they don't know how to face the "stress of change". We tend to hang onto the familiar, even if it is not healthy.

You need to pat yourself on the back here because you are allowing yourself to make a change in your life. But just know that for a while it is going to feel uncomfortable, and that is only because you are stepping away from an old routine. And your real goal will be to learn to adapt to making changes and progress in your life and that you "can" adapt and grow and progress. You have every right to do that too.

It is ok to express the anger and frustration. But also make sure you talk to yourself and remind yourself that you are taking steps to improving "your" life and you are being brave and you are just going to go with it and allow yourself to learn and grow.

(((Hugs)))
Open Eyes