Has this happened to you:

It is starting to occur to me that I almost feel...too ok.

Since the incident 2 weeks ago: major trigger at work, then my T being unavailable, a shut- down, a week of physical illness, and finally, an (uphill) climb back to to "normalcy" (whatever that means), I have been feeling OK.

I am not:
- worrying as much about things for as long a period of time
- fearful on a constant basis
- stressed to the max out in public places (although there are certain places I absolutely still cannot go anywhere near...my heart starts racing, I hyperventilate and feel as if the world is closing in on me)

***

It's as if it's too quiet.

I realized, my friends, I am in the "comfort" zone (rolling eyes). I slammed the open door shut as soon as I got triggered and my T was unavailable. I shut down totally

****

It's not as if I WANT drama in my life, either. I don't want to hurt and to be in pain and to struggle and feel horrible. again. But I get the feeling I am going to have to open a few more doors that are going to lead to that before I am REALLY feeling better.

As we've written before, so as to not just survive, but thrive.

I have the opportunity to see a new T. I think I may need to go for it. Otherwise, I am not going to progress far beyond where I am now. And I don't think that is good.

(not if I want a life, I mean).

OK, now I am scared.