Hi. This can be TRIGGERING, but I need to express this, so if you're up to it, you can listen.

My legs have been numb for three days now. I'm so sick of this. There's nothing wrong with my legs. They've just been feeling like this ever since a therapy session when I really faced the fact that I couldn't move my legs when I was raped as a child. He tied them, spread open, to the stairs. I was left standing, unable to move, while he and the other one took turns brutalizing me.

I'm told these are "body memories." Anyone else get these? I hate them. I also get sharp pains across my face where he hit me. I feel some other stuff also, the stuff that makes it pretty much impossible to welcome any intimacy today.

This feels so unfair. I really prefer to focus on positive recovery, but this is so painful. I guess I just need to grieve for a while. I really want them off my body after all these years.

Thanks for listening.

mtd