What helped me with my mom had a lot to do with her changing, but there were things I could do. I set up healthy boundaries and stuck to them. If she was getting to disrespectful or criticizing over the phone I would tell her I have to go. I also accepted that she is very outspoken and that I need to be able to stand my ground at times and just blow off what she says sometimes. I also try to understand that there were a lot of issues she faced in her past and she loves me but just doesn't know how to get that across.