I had another good session yesterday! I'm glad because my T is going away so I don't have a session next week.

I asked more about walks and told her there's no way I can make my thinking about her "zipping up her coat" normal, that it may be se*ual. She said, "So what if it's not normal? What's normal anyway? Those are just thoughts I'm having and I don't have to give them so much attention."

She wanted to know if I wanted to do EMDR or go on a walk! I wanted to do both but there wasn't time, so I chose EMDR since we haven't done it for awhile. We haven't taken a walk in over a year, but it didn't seem like the right day for it. I think that in spite of what she said, I didn't want to be triggered by intrusive thoughts this week. I do feel relieved, though! Even if it's the part who is "in love with her", T still likes and accepts me.

I asked to hold her hand near the end of the session and she did. I think I was "in love with her" yesterday. I felt a deep connection with her because I showed her my artwork and we talked about art and how therapeutic it is for me to be getting back into it, at her suggestion. I also talked a little about my father during EMDR. It was hard but I need to talk more about both of my parents. It was okay to feel good with my T, to feel so connected and a little "in love" too.