Right now you are taking the frist steps. You are finding out how people will react to your concerns. We are strangers and perhaps it's safer to come to us than someone you know. Take pride in yourself for making this step.

I get the feeling that you may share some of my fears, fears that I don't really want to put voice to as I'm afraid of how people will react and that speaking them may have consequences that I am afraid I can't live with. Of course I could be wrong.

Just take it one tiny step at a time. You don't have to reveal all your fears and concerns at once. There isn't a rule that says you have to tell the whole story at once.

I also wonder if you are somewhat uncomfortable approaching your mother, though you believe she would help, and perhaps also feel afraid of hurting her by seeking out someone on your own.

I could be wrong. These are just some things that came to mind while I was reading your posts.