Really sorry that you're feeling this way...don't leave these forums. We're here to support you (at least I am, and from what I am reading above, I see that others do too)...I've read about your situation with your friend, we've shared some kind and supportive words...that's what I feel is the beauty and necessity of these forums and messages...support. And with something like this, which is simultaneously anonymous and personal, I view it as a significant blessing. I do hope that you reconsider and look forward to your encouraging words from other people...Hugs to you...