I second everything that Doggiedo said. You sound very intelligent and compassionate. It also sounds like you are dealing with a lot right now, more than you should have to take on alone. I know it's summer right now, but maybe when you get back to school in the fall you can talk to your school's counselor about what is going on at home. They might be able to get you some help. In regards to the sexual things -- I get the feeling that you're doing this to please other people, not because you necessarily enjoy it yourself. Believe that you are a worthwhile human being that deserves love and happiness; don't allow others to make you feel a certain way. Try to build up your self confidence and self worth so you don't feel the need to get it from others. Much easier said than done, I know. But a counselor would be able to help you with this as well. Don't do anything you are uncomfortable doing. Tell yourself every day that you a beautiful, good, worthy, and that you deserve love and happiness. At first it might sound fake, but if you keep saying it, you'll begin to believe it and you'll start treating yourself better. In this crazy world, you have to take care of yourself as best you can.