(((Rainbow))) What you describe is very much a re-parenting process. That is what a T can do with some clients that can really help out.

Thinking about that, I am reminded about how my oldest neice (my brother's first of four daughters) was when she was about 5 years old. She would hang all over her daddy and had such total love in her eyes. My brother is an AMAZING father to his girls and has NEVER crossed a line. It was such a PURE and healthy relationship that was growing and evolving between them. She is now 14 and has a different relationship with her dad, but only in that it is stronger and more mature. But she would say cute things infront of the whole family (even her mom) like "I LOVE DADDY! I am going to marry him when I grow up!"

She was feeling pure love for him and that was the only emotional reference she understood at that young age. My brother accepted this love with a full heart and never said anything to put down that love or say "Oh you can't do that." He understood that when the relationship had matured, his daughter would very naturally learn the differences in love forms. Sure enough, she has discovered boys and is off to a very healthy start in those areas. She has respect for herself because her dad treated her love with respect. And she has a much fuller and more defined love for her father that is a beautiful and healthy love.

I think a good T (like yours and mine) allow a client to love them in the client's own way and with respect. As long as the client stays safe for both themselves and the T, it is healthy. The client may never have experienced the fullness of love that healthy children experience for a healthy parent. That experience is a vital part of growing up. So we are honored and respected in our love. We are watched because the T knows we will mature and the relationship will mature as time goes by. If we stall out, T will know how to help move us forward again.

So let yourself feel what you feel for your T. You are doing a WONDERFUL job with being honest! I wish I could do what you are doing with that. My own terror of being hurt keeps me emotionally shutting down and pushing T away from my heart. I look forward to the times when I can trust myself and the relationship enough to feel inside of it. Sometimes I do though. :-) And when that happens, my T responds to me the same way my brother responds to his daughters - with that silent accepting heart that lets us safely grow. Just like what your T is doing right now.