<font color="#000088">This so sounds like my own life repeating itself.... I found out that my own mother, when I was between the ages of 14-18, was tapping into my trust account that was SUPPOSED to be locked-down until I turned 18. My grandfather left me that - to get a house, go to college, and whatever else I desired - but the house and all that had to wait until I successfully completed the first year of college... Found out my mother had been using the 'emergency' clause in the contract w/the bank - and was producing fraudulent medical bills for me in order to take out money. I'm 28 now, 2 years ago my grandma passed away, and I found HUNDREDS of cancelled checks for house pyaments, car payments, you name it.... I know EXACTLY what you are going through in re: Parents screwing their kid over...

I am literally homebound myself. I am afraid of even breathing at times... I haven't even been on this forum in weeks bcuz I fear and flip out that someone is going to be able to see this that I don't want to. No matter what I do, no matter how much medication I take, I have VERY FEW days of relief... I'd much rather be doped up every second of my life than to have to even think about making a decision - I just can't do it....

Also, and no discouragement intended, but ALL of us know that these medication cocktails take time and trials. At least with my bi-polar side, I have not been having as many highs/lows; so there is some progress for me - but this took over 4 months and several differnt drugs... The only thing that keeps me 1/4 calm is my xanax; there is nothing else out there that will knock the jitters out of me like that will... I also could care less if anyone, including my Pdoc, et.al. consider me addicted; you're damn right I am and that is what the stuff is made for. Now if I were taking 30 a day, that would be a problem... That's not the case...

Do me a favour - talk to your Pdoc about getting on Xanax or Valium or something in the Benzo family so you can at least get SOME relief while the others' start to work or are being worked on. From the sounds of the posts, your doc seems pretty receptive and I can't see why he/she wouldn't do this - I'm actually wondering why he/she hasn't done it already... Whatever you do, and i know this is only words and it is hard, just do your best. Don't over-do it, don't get upset, just take it a moment at a time... That's all I can do - and the rest can just wait....

If you need to talk one on one, feel free to write anytime. We're all here for one another - always remember that
Niko </font>