Well you sound alot like me. I know thats not a good thing and i'm sorry that i don't have much advice to give you. I know how you feel though. I just told my therapist if one decent thing happens to me there will be 5 bad things that happen. Thats just how my life is. I'm angry too and just don't understand why. I don't know what to say to you except to try to distract yourself somehow from thinking, and not by using any substances, i mean watch tv, read, listen to music those types of things. There is a meetup website where you can find groups to join with people who like to do similar things as you. I'm not in the frame of mind to join any groups but you may be. Its hard and i wish i had the answer. Just try to hang in there the best you can and take one day at a time.