i'm so sorry that things are piling up on you with family. i know how that can be. it wasn't until my nieces became "mentally ill" that my sisters decided that it is a disease.....

if you can, find a doctor and go anyway. let your parents stew in their own juices/alcohol....it's your life now.

find someone to talk to . a good T can do wonders when we're this low. and we all love you here.....i hope you know that........xoxoxo pat