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Originally Posted by beauflow
i really want to do something when I get home..Jut a lot of stress here lately. I want to either "smoke it" or drink... I will try to tell myself -- NO- no on the "smoke it" for sure due to I need to find another job and I know I can do the work that others ask and the pee screening needs to be clean if anyone does bite at what I have applied for.... and drinking blah, remind myself that it wont do me any good!
Sadly I am still a smoker of cigs-- that I don't think is going any times soon but I do give Kudos for all that are trying and have quit!
It is inspiration for me -- that maybe in the future I can.
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when we first get sober a drink can look pretty good when we feel our emotions. emotions we made numb. in your case stressed out. that's because everytime life threw us a curve ball we ran and drowned the emotion. when we "come to" all the emotion-stress-is still awaiting us. nothing in our life has changed for the better.
we're uncomfortable with our new found life. but if you can take it a day at a time sober, re-learn life skills, each day gets better.
hope this may help. glad you posted. 
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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