My first reaction was about your H. How could he be a T and not understand your need to be in therapy? It breaks my heart to read about your situation, and I don't know you or live with you. I'm sorry for your H's insensitivity.

I can understand your T saying "stop waiting." It seems like your life is on hold until she comes back. But that's not a way to live. You deserve more than that! Maybe she wants you to accept that she will be away a long time, and move forward. I think you are an amazing person, and I know it probably hurts to read that. But maybe it's in your best interests to see another T even though it's the last thing you want to do. Another T won't replace the one you have. It would take time to trust someone else. But it CAN be done. You can do that if it would help you in the long run. Just like there's not one person in the whole universe for a partner (otherwise people wouldn't divorce and marry someone else), there's not one T.

Your other option is to accept what you do have, the skype and phone calls, and just visualize T holding your hand and hugging you. I know it's not the same!!! I do know that, from personal experience, but visualization can be helpful.

Accepting the reality of a situation is extremely difficult, but sometimes we have to do it. We have to grieve for what we can't have and for what we lost. Then we can move on. Sending you lots more hugs than I am allowed to post.