After years of emotional ups and downs, running everyone away, yet at the same time wondering why, I received my diagnosis yesterday from my therapist. Now I'm faced with the possibility of divorce after 12.5 years because my husband has simply had enough. He can't take me loving him so affectionately one second and blaming him for everything the next. I don't even know why I do this myself. Now that I have a name for it, I feel like I start somewhere. Even though I'm terrified, I feel hope in somehow managing it. But since we feel abandonment so intensely, I am so scared I'm going to do something stupid like I always do to get my husband to stay with me and make things worse or make him hate or resent me even more. I'm 40 years old now, I don't want to start my life over, and I don't want to lose my husband. So if anyone else can tell me any little nuggets of wisdom on how to get through these first few days or months, I would really appreciate it.