I've this friend, she takes her child's body temp. rectally. Every time she says it I SHRIEEEEEEEEK! inside, of course, noone hears it. I've told her in the past that I cannot handle the mention of that word. I think she's been sensitive to that, and today she came close to saying it. Or she did but I just disociated. Idunno anymore. But then when I need to go to sleep all these buried thoughts come up. Since I'm not currently seeing a T, this is hard for me. I just wanna shrieeeeek to drown out the iduno-what, I don't have words for it.
I have this image in my mind of my don't-know-which-descriptive-word-to-use-here mother OUCH! having my sister across her lap and inserting the enema, and then would be my turn. Oh, the sheer terror that grips me! I cannot shake this EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! Idunno what would it take to not get triggered like this. I'm gonna tell my friend to please refrain from coming anywhere close to the topic for the time being. All she told me tonight was that she needs to explain to the camp nurse that her daughter may be running a high temperature but her body will feel cold, therefore it's important to take her temperature. I think the next sentence she was going to say was that her daughter's temp needs to be taken rectally OOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUCH!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I'm gonna just ask her if she could please refrain from talking about her daughter's temperature, etc. (btw, her daughter is multiply-disabled and is unable to keep a thermometer under her tongue, as she has no muscle control in her body)
I think what would be helpful is to confront this past history in the presence of a trusting T, as I've found such an experience healing in the past. Except I haven't done it with this specific experience of the enemas aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for bearing with me! I am humbled by your patience....