I'm not sure what to say or what I am feeling right now. This is really my first time talking to anyone about this and I have been feeling all sorts of emotions lately. I feel sad, angry, confused, hurt, heart-broken and empty all at the same time. I feel sad because I am missing my other half, I feel angry because things feel so unfair, I feel confused because it all happen so quickly and seems like a bad dream, I feel hurt because I feel so mistreated, I feel heart-broken because a piece has been taken away and I feel empty because nothing is left inside. Recently I lost someone who was very very close to me. The only way to explain our incredible connection is that we truly shared the same mind, heart, body and soul. I lost my baby at nearly six months pregnant. It's hard to lose someone that you've grown so attached to mentally and physically with. I was not one of those mothers that was just pregnant and having a baby but I was pregnant and acknowledged my child every chance I could. I talked to him, read to him and when I would rub my stomach it felt like he rubbed me back. He was such a sweet little soul. I pretty much went through my pregnancy alone. My baby's father decided he didn't want to be around anymore once I turned about 3 1/2 months. So I went to all my appointments alone and I dealt with that and decided that me and the baby would be just fine on our own. I had some complications during my pregnancy but my doctors assured me I would be fine, but unfortunately that wasn't the case. My labor was very traumatic and very much unexpected. Though I am thankful to have been able to spend the little bit of time I was able to spend with my baby before he died it sometimes makes things harder for me to deal with. By holding him and actually going through the entire labor and delivery that really broke my heart and messed with my mind. When I wake up in the morning all I want to do is hold my baby again. It seems so unfair to give life and have it taken away from you all in the same day. When I should have been rejoicing I was planning funeral arrangments instead. My body is still going through the "new mom stage" doing everything it would as if he was still here and thats hurts my soul so deeply. I feel so confused and empty when I want to hold my baby and all I can do is hold his picture. I guess I am here asking for help from those that have a loss as deep as mine. How do I move on and get out this hole I feel I am in? Will I ever feel better? What am I to do now?