Jennifer, you're a good friend to your best friend. She is lucky to have you.

It's interesting... I was about to retort that often men do the same thing, that it depends on the person not the gender. I've been in a few relationships where the man I was dating would follow me around and give me right of way whenever possible. It got on my nerves like you couldn't believe. THEN, I was going to say that I prefer things to be equal, and that a balanced relationship is absolutely the most important thing to me, blah blah blah.

But then, I realized what a hypocrite I would be for saying that.

My relationship is anyhing BUT balanced in many respects. I definitely give way to my husband's needs so much of the time. He might see it differently, though -- I am extremely headstrong and one would say it's out of character for me to defer to a man, but he chuckled at me after the first time we went to my parents' house for dinner -- he said he never would have expected it, but he observed that any time my dad needed something, I would bolt out of my chair to get it for him. I was kind of shocked because I hadn't realized that I do that, but he was right -- and I continue to behave like that toward my husband (and my dad) now.

I wouldn't say it determines my 'joy', per se, but I guess it's an ingrained habit based on the way I was raised. That's in spite of what I consider ideal.

Good topic for discussion, though.