You are NOT nothing, FAR from it! You're a woman, humanbeing, mother, friend, valued member of our community! No, you are definitly NOT nothing. I'm sorry you're hurting so badly, have you spoken to your pdoc about your progress or lack thereof? Is ECT usually an instant depression buster, or is it gradual? I'm so glad you're doing your best to stay safe, hope you reward yourself for such a profound accomplishment. Sending love, soothing hugs, strength and comfort your way