The last three weeks have been the most difficult time in my life. I am on medication. Been evaluated. Major Depression with Extreme Anger and Anxiety. Seeing a therapist. (only been there once) I can't seem to get past this. I feel empty, lost, unwanted, rejected, lonely, I ca't sleep, or eat, I have lost 9 pounds. The worst part is it is my fault. I can forgive what I have done. But I can't forgive what I lost.I know I can get back on my feet again. I just don't want to. My whole life I have had this sort of emptiness and never quite reached happy. And was never sure what I wanted from this life. About a year and a half ago I found it. the empty feeling was gone. I was happy. And for the first time I knew what it was I wanted. I had a goal. 3 weeks ago. It was gone. I have not been able to get back on my feet. I know I can. But I don't see the point. I don't know what is worse having the empty feeling my whole life or having go away, then return. It feels like I have no goal. I am right back where I started. I had it. But I lost it. And I am afraid I won't be able to find it again. Along with the overwhelming sadness. I have been angry. Not just angry but furious. I am worried I am going to loose it and I don't know what will happen. I have been treated in a manner that I have felt abandoned, unworthy, ignored, blown off. And less of a person. I have never experienced anythig like this before. I have to talk to another doc tomorrow the med I am on my therapist says they may not be strong enough. Maybe talk to her. My next appt is in two weeks. But what do I do in the mean time? I about lost it today. I seriously thought about checking myself in somewhere.