(((((Lydia))))

Im happy that you were able to find ways that would calm and nurture your alters so that they could be comfortable with going through the intensive treatment of Sheppard Pratt..This is a prime example that you dont ***have*** to know your internal system of alters to do whats needed. you sensed things were not calm inside and you did something to help them feel safe.

everyones internal system is set up how ever they needed to survive. that means everyone has to find their own way through to doing what you did on an instinctual level.. some people cant just "feel" the discontent, and find ways to deal with it. you did. fantastic job of helping your alters even though you dont know your system of alters. lots of kudo's coming your way.

you asked how long people spend on stabilization, coping tools....Stabilization and coping tools is one of those things that a person (mental disordered or not) keep going through their whole lives...

theres no way to control the ups and downs of life. take the recent recession... many people lost their jobs and that very normal part of life shook many people and they had to fall back on their stabilizing and coping tools, they even had to learn new coping tools and some had to go back to school to learn a new trade because their jobs for the past 20-40 yrs was now obsolete in today's world (whichas why their jobs went bankrupt...not enough consumers wanting for example plastic cassette tapes for music because everything today is ipods, computers, Mp3, mp4...) so these millions of illions of people in the USA that lost their jobs had to go through their stabilizing their emotions, families, use their coping tools and find their own way in today's job market.

my point is life has no promises that its smooth sailing, with never any bumps in the road so going through stabilizing, learning and using coping tools never ends.

when you are born and on through the years family teaches (or is supposed to teach) their child how to calm their self, stabilize and use coping tools..

then you go to school, day care, college, work training you learn more about how to / and use stabilize and coping tools...

you go into the dating stream of things and you learn to / have to stabilize and use your coping tools in relationships.

you get a job you have learn more ways to stabilize and cope with job related issues...

if you go on to have children you have to learn and use stabilizing and coping tools..

when you retire from the job market you have to learn and use stabilizing and coping tools..

no matter what age you are if you have any health issues even something as simple as a cold you learn about and use stabilizing and coping tools...

if you have a physical disability / disorder /disease you learn more/ use stabilizing and coping tools...

if you have a mental disability/disorder you need to learn to stabilize and use coping tools...

my point is, in ever faucet of life a person has to go through some sort of stabilizing process and is always building upon their coping tools and learning more / better coping tools that fit the situation.. it never ends from the day you are born to your dying breath..

and each person, each time they go through it must find their own way that works for them. Sometimes how others do things works for another person and sometimes it doesnt.

each time you go through stabilizing and learning new coping tools you will learn what works for you and what doesnt, just like when you are reading posts here you know which posts are helpful to you and which one's arent, which ones trigger you and which ones you feel safe with replying to, from what you already know about yourself.

theres no doubt about it lifes ups and downs are hard and this hand you were dealt is the worst, take it one step at a time finding out what works for you.