My hubby is easily frustrated, he expresses this frustration by blaming me. Throws his arms around gets very loud (he talks at me) and says "no one listens to him and this is what he gets for telling me his emotions and he should know better". I do agree that I do not always listen to what he says, in fact I tend to be defensive or just say I am sorry for whatever it is he is blaming me for. My reason for this? I feel bad a lot, because he is upset at me a lot. I feel like a bad person who cannot get it right.
He like to bring up the past almost every time and say I should just understand that he is being this way because I have done (whatever it is) in the past so I should not expect him to react any different. It is also wearing to carry the burden of the past. I do acknowledge that some of my past behavior has not been helpful to the relationship. I have however have made changes to the things he has complained about but this does not stop them form coming up again. And again.
I do know I am not responsible for his feelings but I do not know how to cope with being blamed for his unhappiness several times a day without taking it personal. Nor do I know how to resolve the past 5 years to his satisfaction or how to deal with his frustrations. He blames me for his stomach ulcer and anytime he get upset he also reminds me of how bad his tummy his and how I am adding to it.