Just an off load and I have banned myself from contacting T in between sessions.

I have been fine for a few months now, but for some reason, this week, my thoughts are drifting here.

I know some stuff has come up for me lately with T, but I can't identify any strong emotions right now - just this rising urge to.......well you know

I am so trying to keep myself chilled out, being calm, thinking gentle things, taking the odd beta blocker, but it is like this creature is in me waking up and wanting to take charge of things.