Today is just a crappy day for me so far, for a variety of reasons. But part of it I've done to myself.

I had one severe blood disease last winter that has led to another. I'm good with the first one so far, but I found an article about it this morning and stupidly read it.

I'm still on meds for it, but I'm being tapered off, and will be off completely by mid-September. According to this article, it turns out that it can come back once you get off the meds.

My hematologist told me that it usually recurs, but not for 10 years or so. That's still not terrific odds, but now I'm all freaked out about getting it again a lot sooner.

The disease it led to I am still learning how to deal with. There isn't a lot out there about it, as it's fairly rare, but I'll be on meds for life. I've had to radically alter my diet and make other lifestyle changes because of it. The meds will keep me from the worst symptoms, but I'm having others that aren't going away. In one thing I read, it said the disease can lead to vision loss and blindness.

Well, I'm having problems with my eyesight, so now I'm all freaked out about THAT. I mean, it's probably a worst-case scenario, but I can't get over the hump of the "what-ifs." (Yes, I've been told repeatedly that I catastrophize ). It could just be the issues of middle age, or it could be that I need new glasses, as I haven't seen an eye doc in a couple of years. But my mind jumps straight to "OMG, what if I'm going blind?"

Anybody got any helpful hints for not making huge jumps over the logical conclusion bridge?

Candy