The thing is it doesn't require there to be something else to cause the anger to be triggered. It is not like a build up of anger or a frustration with a problem in life that is dogging you. What the OP described is different.

Searching for a 'life issue cause' in these kinds of scenerios can drive someone batty. They are not connected. This is a spontaneous response at a time when the brain is in overdrive and the emotions are in chaos and suddenly everything is explosive and responses are extreme.

I made a scene today outside the city hall. Went in to defer my taxes. Requires another signature. Simple problem, easy solution but I managed to make a mountain out of a molehill and the next thing I knew I was on my knees on the lawn screaming and shreading papers into the air making no sense what so ever. A total loony-toons.

Yes, I breathed my way back to level eventually but the shame, the self-loathing, the hopelessness that I feel can not be breathed away. I snapped under the pressure of a tiny kink in the road. I felt the signs. I felt the confusion. I tried to walk away, I tried to get the clerk to stop talking but I was too slow.

I did not let off on the clerk. That is progress I suppose because I may have on another occassion. Still on another occassion the kink in the road would have had no effect on me in the slightest.

I can relate too well to what you describe Xambgii. It does feel like an abusive relationship with the self. It requires a lot of forgiveness of the self. It requires us to never give up on ourselves. It requires us to figure out how to live with ourselves. How to know when we are vulnerable, how to take the reins in any situation and manage any thought or feeling before it can take you off the rails.

For me it is a build up. It can build up within seconds but it is still a build up. If that is true than it logics that if we are attentive enough we can manage the build up. If we can respond quickly enough then more and more we will be able to change outcomes. If we can nip things before they get us then we have a fighting change of behaving in ways that will not result in those feelings of shame, self hate etc that are a consequence of having lost all control in a moment of extreme emotional charge.

Forgive yourself for having acted badly; have faith you can learn to manage any emotion; and keep plugging away at it. That is all I can think to do that can keep me in the game of life. Otherwise the reasons for giving up are just toooooo convincing.