I signed up for this site because of some past traumas and my current self-harm but when I took the sanity score quiz it gave me a 100 on PTSD. So I've spent the whole day researching it--I was really surprised, it just never occurred to me. Like, I knew what it was but I never thought I would have it. I think I just associated it with war veterans... But, alas, after all the research it's true. It's everything that's wrong with me in a small list of symptoms. So, tonight I thought I'd post here. I'm really tired, it's only 11pm here but I was in Japan last week and I guess I'm still kind of jet lagged. It's 10am there but I'm somewhere in the middle of Tokyo and New York time. It's just made everything worse cause most nights I don't sleep that much anyway. Usually I can put off sleep for a really long time but this just screwed with my schedule. I can feel my eyes drooping but I'm terrified I don't want to sleep because I know I'll dream and I just really really don't want to and it's like when you're sick and you have to puke and you know you're going to puke but it's not happening yet and you're trying to put it off because you know that awful feeling but you know it's inevitable so you're stuck with your head down the toilet just waiting to wretch...