Hi, I'm 20 years old and in college to hopefully one day become a nurse. I will be applying for the nursing program in the spring, but I've been thinking a lot lately and I don't think I even want to be a nurse anymore. I'm not that smart and I have HORRIBLE anxiety. In all of my classes the other students complain if they don't make 95% or higher, and I'm just struggling to make a B, or C.

I have no other choice but to go through with nursing, I can't think of any other profession I could do. I enjoy learning about medical stuff, but I need to enjoy a lot more than that to make it through nursing school. Anyone who has been or known someone who has went through nursing school said it consumes your life for the two years you are in there, and that it is extremely stressful. I don't think I can handle that.

I wish there were some other career I could do, but I'm horrible at math, and it seems like every other career (unless it's arts/drama) involves serious math. I want to make my parents proud and finish college, because if I were to drop out they would be SO disappointed, they are kind of perfectionist.

Also my mom has been very sickly for the past couple of years. Not only is she my mom but she is my best friend...my world. Lately I can tell she is giving up because none of her treatments have been working and we can't afford to pay for hospital treatment. I feel guilty, because maybe if my parents didn't buy me a nice car, clothes, vacations, electronics, school, etc... then maybe we could afford to do the hospital treatment.

The expenses of my mom's health has caused a lot of stress between her and my dad and it KILLS me to see her upset. I've never seen her like this. I'm scared I'm going to lose her, and if that happens I don't think I will be able to survive. I have no friends, the only person I hang out with is my mom, if I were to lose her then I would be alone in the world.

Also I have a disorder called Dermatillomania which is where I can't fight the urge to stop picking my skin, and it causes ugly scars on my face, arms, chest and back. My doctor doesn't really understand it. No one around me understands it. My family says "stop picking your skin", but I can't!!! I try so hard to fight the urge. But that's a whole other story.

I'm just so tired of life, I feel worthless, I dread the future, I don't know what to do with my life, and the list goes on... I've been on Cymbalta and Lexapro in the past for anxiety, but I didn't notice a difference at all. I have Xanax but that doesn't do anything for me either. I'm stuck and don't know what to do