Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
(((geez))),
I am glad to hear you opened up a little. Always remember as you do that not to label these memories with any guilt. And also to know that when things happened in your past, you were not at the same maturity level you are at now. Your goal is to sort through anything that may have held you back and that you didn't get validated for your struggle. Your goal is to come away from this work with a stronger more secure sense of yourself.
I have mentioned before that for me, it was easier to discuss the topic and include myself as someone who did experience troubling things when I was at ages where I really had no way of having the capacity to deal with it all. And by doing that I learned not just how I reacted but also how most victims react to certain things they experience. We are only human and we CAN repair and be stronger in the now, inspite of our pasts.
(((Hugs)))
Open Eyes
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Open thank you for the reminder. All of what you said sums up what my T said to me about how I did everything I could with what I had... always searching for a way out of the abuse, always finding a way to survive. Trying new behaviors or strategies to make it stop. My T did tell me to try and not hold that part of myself accountable and to think about what would I do if someone abused my child/children? Would I expect my children to be able to just 'deal with it' if someone hurt them? NO!
T said that even though I had such a difficult life as a child something inside me kept fighting for something more and she sees that in me
that is what has gotten me to this point in my life today. I'm married to a supportive and loving husband, I don't abuse my children and show them love. I have aquaintances and I'm social to some degree IRL. I don't partake in drugs or alcohol for coping (got that out of my system thankfully years ago). And I have goals. It's weird there are many times when self doubt and negative thoughts hold me back from something and then something inside me so NO I need and want more and then I make a goal (something that started when I was seeing first T).
I hold onto my shame/feelings about myself even though intellectually it makes no sense. I need to separate that part of myself out of the equation. I'm holding onto so much shame even though I know it doesn't really belong to me. What will I be?