(((((Sarah))))))

You say that you don't want to put the inside kids through more truama by finding another T, but it sounds like waiting around for a T who can't promise anything, doesn't know when she will be back, and can't provide any assurances at all, would be far more painful and truamatic for you.

It seems that your relationship has been defined in a way by T's absences and the waiting around rather than by the theraputic work you've done. Obviously I could be wrong, but it's how it seems lately from your posts.

I totally understand the grief and longing for T, I really do, it is hard, but there's something about identifying when a situation is doing more harm than good. I also think it's easy to get 'stuck' in certain places and emotions without realising there can be another way forward.

I understand you might want to stay waiting for T. But you have the power and choice to decide what is right for you long term.