I completely understand. I am in that place too, recently started therapy again after 10 years. I haven't done anything in a very long time, and I had a really intense session yesterday, was digging my fingers into under my nails to stay grounded, and inadvertently made both thumbs under the nails bleed. Needless to say, I feel it today every time I type or wash my hands, and it makes me miss what I used to do...but I am really trying not to do anything else, but like you, it is creeping its way, lurking in the shadows.

You are not alone good luck to you...