So let yourself feel what you feel for your T. You are doing a WONDERFUL job with being honest! I wish I could do what you are doing with that. My own terror of being hurt keeps me emotionally shutting down and pushing T away from my heart. I look forward to the times when I can trust myself and the relationship enough to feel inside of it. Sometimes I do though. :-) And when that happens, my T responds to me the same way my brother responds to his daughters - with that silent accepting heart that lets us safely grow. Just like what your T is doing right now.