I would look at your wife rather than what your wife says about you (she's not you so what does she know?). What kind of person, who claims to have loved you, acts as she is acting, says emotionally hurtful things to, hopefully, take advantage of you, etc.? I'd work on my feeling of disgust and anger rather than let her words affect my heartstrings; she does not deserve to affect your heartstrings; you did not deliberately cause pain with your bipolar illness and "putting up with" is hardly a reason for deserving more. It's like that Klondike commercial where the guy "listens" to his wife for 5 seconds and gets a Klondike bar, a joke in the worst taste:



Money does not buy happiness/"putting up with". If she is going to be obstructive, quit playing along, being Mr. Nice Guy and get your lawyer to document her lawyer's non-cooperation and use that against her/them in court. Expose her less than helpful attitude, her true "gimme" spirit.