We are thinking of getting a house together due to the distance between us. She could move in with me, I own a house, but her daily commute would go from 20 minutes to over an hour and that is too much. I have such a strong desire to be alone, but its not what I want. I want to give her all my love, to let myself go and experience true love for once. I am trying to "retrain" my personality to be less of a hermit. I have never given anyone my full love, and I am trying to give it to her. Its a constant battle with myself. I look at myself from the outside and see a beautiful girl who has everything I want, but my inner self is fighting me so hard. I know it sounds confusing. Its like I want to give her a hug, but my arms arent moving the way they should. For a long time, I knew I needed help for my mental illness. I never gave it much thought. But when I met her I couldn't get to a therapist quick enough. I really want this to work, but I am very scared. I have never opened myself up like I have with her. I guess time will tell. Time and a lot of therapy!

Mike