I was actually just commenting on what is going on inside your own head over and over and over again, not about posting on PC. The posting is healthy; the rumination that has got to drive you just up the wall is a whole other issue. I sure don't have the answers; wish I did. Have you approached this whole idea of rumination with your t? I would think (a) she clearly already knows this about you, and (b) she should be able to help you work on finding a way to accept your thoughts without having to beat them to death.

My T is into this whole mindfulness thing. I'm trudging through the book he wanted me to read (reluctantly) and it talks a great deal about how rumination is probably the major cause of depression and how through mindfulness we can learn to not judge our thoughts, but accept them as whatever they are and move forward. (It doesn't present it as an easy endeavor, however, which I respect.) I'm absolutely no expert on mindfulness; I'm actually very resistant to the whole idea. But I keep thinking of you as I'm reading (see we think of you even when your threads aren't on the first page.)

Anyway, please don't think I'm judging you; I'm the last person to judge. More just concern and observation I guess. Take it easy on yourself; be kind to yourself. You are a beautiful person and your thoughts are truly okay, just a bit excessive (but you know that).