Thank you desirae for reading my post and for your words of sympathy. I agree that the worse loss is a loss of a child and never thought I would have to go through that. My mind and body has gone through a lot and I just feel like I need a rest. The past few days I have just found myself crying and sleeping, crying and sleeping. It doesn't make me feel any better to let it out cause the pain is still there when I finish crying. My pain feels like someone has taken out my heart and wringing it out like a towel and it hurts really bad. These have been the longest 2 weeks of my life! I still wake up every morning and wish it was all a nightmare and I will still have my little sweetheart in my stomach. But when I wake up I realize that it really did happen and he's gone. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so emotional and affectionate then maybe I wouldn't want to hold him so much. Today I woke up and my breast were leaking like crazy and call me crazy but that makes me think that he is some where hungry. Then when I came downstairs to get the mail what did I get? The books that I ordered to read to my baby. It seems like everything is starting to come now. The magazines are coming too all that I signed up for about a month ago are all coming now. It's like I get up everyday and I'm here but I'm not at the same time. I can't focus, think straight and barely remember what day it is anymore because everything seemed to revolve around my baby because I was so happy. I keep thinking that hopefully tomorrow will get better, can't wait for that tomorrow to hurry up and come! Thanks for listening.