Ponder the idea of splitting time... With current T and one that current T may recommend locally, that way T can fill in the surrogate T on your situation, back ground , story... I mean if T likes the surrogate and obviously you trust her, maybe the little ones can see surrogate as a babysitter... That way you can function better while still not losing your deep connection, it is possible to form another attachment , it may pale in comparison to current T , but the physical part seems important to the little ones... Just trying to help I hate to see you all so sad.