Now that it is summer, many of my female colleagues at work - especially the new, incredibly annoying culturally challenged ones - are all about the baby and kid talk while at work.

The way a couple of them talk about it really triggers me. I feel so sad when it starts up, Gethsemane depressed and then terribly emotional And then of course I want to (a) tell them to shut up and/or (b) run out the door.

One of the new girls in particular is getting married soon and she talks about it constantly. In addition to talking quite loudly about all the details, she discusses with everyone at every chance she gets about how she "wants one" (a baby like it's a coveted sports car) and how she is planning for 4. (Oh dear. I hope her soon to be husband knows). She is also incredibly dumb, ditzy, irresponsible, naive and immature. Definitely not the brightest bulb. So just by hearing her voice, I start feeling agitated.

She is the type that has gotten by in her life by prostituting herself, manipulating, lying and by her appearance. She was the one that was served a summons at the office the other day and is being sued for whatever stupidity she caused now.

She is all about the jumping around like a high school teenager, the expert on all things pregnancy related to everyone around her. Totally unsolicited.

The thing that hurts the most is when the girls are bragging about all the things their kids are doing (making sure to always include how incredible they are as moms to juggle these work/family thing), also loudly bragging about the private exclusive this and that blah blah blah.

They have no idea how much it hurts me. Actually one or two have an inkling and do it in front of me anyway .

Today I could not bear hearing one more word come out of the dumb one's mouth and left for the day. I could just feel myself slipping into that horrible feeling of depression. Grief mixed with feelings of loss and memories that I wanted it all too and almost had it. Twice. But both fiances died.

To make things worse I am at an age that having children would be high risk ...too high risk and I am sans husband.

Also in all reality, I am still working on myself and hav a lot of work to do before I could be a positive role model and successful parent.

I dont know how to deal with this though. I havent really even begun to deal with it with my T. When the subject came up a couple of times I started sobbing from my inner depths and remembering how much we couldnt wait to be parents in our new extended family. And both times things came crashing down.

Any advice for tools to help me cope would be greatly appreciated.