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Originally Posted by HelpppMeeeOuttt
Thanks, I really appreciate you taking the time to read and respond! Well, the thing is, I've had issues for a while now, but I'm just now starting to question whether or not bipolar could be the cause. I've had dysphoric mania and depression symptoms for a while now, but I don't think I've ever had a hypomanic episode until now.
I read that late teens early adulthood is typically when bipolar begins to manifest itself, and I have been feeling progressively worse over the past few months. Yeah, I did only start to have a hypomanic episode after I was reading about it, but I'm wondering if having a hypomanic episode was inevitable and I just happened to trigger it by obsessing about how I was feeling afterward.
As for the drinking thing, I know it may not seem like a big deal to someone who behaves like a normal human being and drinks socially, but me drinking is extremely out of character for me. Like if people I knew knew I did that, they would be so freaking weirded out. And it's not just the fact that I drank, it's that I walked miles to a gas station at 6 in the morning all the while in a hypomanic state. Like I wouldn't have done that if I were thinking normally.
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The thing I would key on is how long this stuff happens. I know you are saying you had an episode but the way bipolar works is not in episodes, but in months. Again, people can and do cycle quickly but I *think* (and others with more knowledge can correct me if wrong) almost all bipolar people will have much longer time periods of mania or depression even if they do occasionally have rapid cycling.
To me, just of what info you've given, it sounds like maybe you are stressed with something around you or maybe there is some sort of anxiety in your life (which you did say you had) that is amplifying your mood lately. I think something good for you would maybe be to journal every day or two and keep track of your moods. Maybe use a mood tracker like Optimism Online. Stop looking for answers on the internet and see what answers you have in yourself, as cheesy as that may sound. Journaling has been insanely helpful for me since I started about 2 months ago.