thanks for all your responses!

that's the thing. i'm not sure why i want him to read it. i guess i want him to know how i felt but i don't know why i want that. i mean he's my T so he's supposed to know how i feel right? but it seems counter-intuitive, like you would never show your journal to your partner/friend etc, or at least i wouldn't so i am second guessing myself as to why i want him to know how bad i felt.

i am aware that my feelings were extremely disproportionate to the actual situation and that is something i have long needed to tackle. and my T has often said that i don't seem able to discuss my feelings. i always end up joking about it or acting like it's not a big deal. i suppose if he reads what i wrote when my feelings were "hot" then i can't dismiss it so easily.