IME of 15 years of marriage, the occasions when we have negotiated in a bean-counting ways have been the least satisfying compromises we have made.

I'm not sure why you don't want your wife to go on a trip with her brother. I have always encouraged my wife to spend time with her family when I can't, and I have encouraged her to take trips with friends when she wants to and when we have the funds to support that.

You sound pissy about her taking the trip. It sounds like you're saying, if you do this, then I will spend MORE time with my female T that I have great intimacy with. Is that because you feel there is something that you need that you're not getting in your marriage? Is that why the desire to spend more time with your T is your response?

It might be better if you can identify why more sessions with T is what you WANT. Because I think that for me, T sessions should be about NEED, not want. That's not to say that you can't work on some things in therapy. But by the negotiating posture you have taken, you are implying that these T sessions, at least, would be a luxury in the same kind of way that her trip would be a luxury. That just seems kind of an unusual way to think about therapy.