Sounds like you've had a lot of things contributing to your anxiety. Have you ever considered going to therapy to work through some of these issues? It could be very beneficial for you. I know how it can be when others see you as so strong, but you don't feel like it. It's not fun, because you don't feel like you can show any signs of weakness. I hope this site is truly helpful to you. I know it has been for me. Keep posting and keep us updated about how you are doing! Welcome to PC!