((((Bean)))) thank you for your thoughtful lovely reply. I helps so much to have an opportunity to share it here. It is a subject that is way too deep and complex to address it in a public way. There is so much to it that no regular everyday person IRL would care to listen to. And frankly, these are definitely not the type of people I could share it with.

So the only thing I can think of right now is to leave. Remove myself from the situation.

It is a terribly painful subject for me: a personal life topic mixed with deep sadness, regret, and (triggering) memories.

I am meeting with my new T this coming week so I just hope I can muster up the courage to discuss it with him. (my wonderful, previous T is leaving the practice to go to a new one too far away for me to go to).

Harsh. Not at all ((((Bean)))) Supportive and caring...absolutely. Thank you again.

Hugs to you,
Rose