I'm glad you shared this on here, but sorry you are feeling so bad. It must not feel good to have your parents treating you that way.
I hope you are able to fight those urges to do things that are hurtful to yourself, and I hope you keep posting.
Take care of yourself as best you can.
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dailyhealing
"Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it." - Helen Keller
Strange how people who suffer together have stronger connections than those who are most content. –Bob Dylan
“If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.