Lost, get out of the house. Go out to eat with a friend. Heck, go out to eat alone. Go to a movie. Go to two movies. Go feed the ducks at a pond somewhere. Walk, walk, walk, walk, walk. Stewing in your own juices at home will not help this mixed episode. It will only build. Have you called your pdoc because the doctor is really the person who can help you with this mixed mood? Mixed moods are awful; absolutely the worst. I completely get that. Unfortunately, my T was honestly never able to be of much help in the midst of a mixed episode because I was so completely bonkers at the time that getting me to actually process was useless. He knew that, and generally told me to go walk or swim or whatever to just burn that excessive mood chaos, and he always told me to give my pdoc a call (which honestly was of the most help - I have an amazing pdoc). Pdoc could do a bit of med tweaking and have me at least on the way to straightened out in a matter of a few days. Emailing and abusing your T (and I say that affectionately, not literally) after he's come off of oral surgery is really not going to make you feel any better in the short run or the long run. If you must spit your venom, go to the store and buy yourself a fire engine red journal and colored pens and journal, journal, journal (your manic side will thrive on it). This mixed state will pass and you'll start thinking straight again along with it, just try not to abuse yourself or anyone else who might get in the way while this is going on -- seriously. You can choose how to handle this state without derailing. Not saying it's easy; it's not. It's hell. But you don't have to completely implode if you can make some creative, helpful, distracting, self-supportive decisions right now. You've gone into this weekend predicting you would be your T's worst client this weekend. That doesn't have to be true. That doesn't mean don't contact him, but slow yourself down a bit so when you do contact him you make a wee bit of sense and can actually maybe be responsive to any help he can give you. Sorry you are in this state. It truly is absolutely the worst. People who have never had the pleasure of a bipolar mixed episode truly have no idea of how horrid and debilitating it is while it is going on. Hang in there and keep posting as you need to. (But really, go DO something to change at least the atmosphere around you. It should help at least for a bit; it certainly can't hurt.)