(((Tam))) I am so sorry you are hurting. I can completely relate.

I am working through the same thing you are and I realized some days are a whole heck of a lot better than others. Thankfully I learned in T and here at PC that these flashbacks are memories. They cannot hurt me now. Even though it is terribly painful, scary and exhausting.

When it happens, I feel like I am right there in those moments ... it could have been 20 years ago that the event occurred, but it may as well be right that very moment and as if no time had passed at all It is really hard. I do understand xx

I am still in the beginning stages of T and trauma work so I dont know if it ever goes away. I can say however for me, my T and I crossed one big hurdle (it took about 7 months but that time seemed to go by so quickly)

Since that moment, though, the intense fear / terror has subsided and I feel so much better. If the topic comes up now, I dont feel that panic anx fight flight feeling any longer (thank goodness) in that way, I find it a complete and total miracle I dont suffer about it any longer. But it still hurts.

Please keep posting and working with your T. I do believe it gets better with each step we take.

I really hope this helps even a teeny bit

Hugs to you
Rose