I know how you feel.... When we are abused and taken advantage of the way you have been, or even when things go wrong and it seems like you never get a break, it makes you feel worthless, angry, depressed. I've been there many times. I agree with the comments above, you should seek help. It is so hard to go through all that by yourself, but if you have people standing behind you, it makes all the difference. I am very sorry to hear of all the trauma you've undergone, and I really hope you can get help and move on to a better place.