I used to feel so inadequate because no matter how much I did for some people, it was never enough. I thought they were ungrateful and greedy. I thought that no matter what I did, they would never appreciate the gifts I offered, including the gift of my time.

Now the shoe is on the other foot sometimes, because my needs seem to outweigh what others are able to give me. I do have a few people who are willing to offer me their time, concern and support. But, no matter how much they give, my need continues.

I sometimes feel like I am a bottomless pit of need and pain.

Because of my previous perspective on others not being grateful, I can see now that maybe they were not ungrateful, just needy. Not selfish, just starved for good feelings, needing validation in whatever form they could get it.

I try to get what I need in honest ways. I think I am pretty straightforward about it. But even so, if I have a good day, that does not mean I always happy a the end of it. The good time was wonderful distraction from the pain I live with. for that I am grateful. But that distraction provided by my loved ones, does not make my deep pain go away and when the "fun" is through, I am all alone with my pain again.

That does not make me ungrateful for the gift my loved ones gave me. It just means that my pain is greater than the distraction of a good day. The pain goes much deeper than a day out can cure.

Hope this helps.