thanks lee, i have spoken to him about us getting into couples counselling. But he said he is already dealing with counselling on his own and he's not sure he could cope with 2 lots of issues raising there heads at once. I do admit that what he is about to start working on in counselling is horrific and huge, and the main cause of a lot of his problems. I've also proposed that i go into counselling alone, but he has told me to think hard on it as it's alot to deal with on top of other problems i have. But i think i'm gonna go for it, at least i can address my issues.